I recently had a dream that I thought is worth sharing. Like so many of my meaningful dreams, the meat of this one was sandwiched in between the hazy nonsense typical of most dreams. In this case, I think the non-sense had something to do with Madonna and the cast of Heroes… Like the clear rays of sunlight after a sudden break in the clouds, the surprisingly relevant and meaningful chunk of a dream emerged, abruptly interrupting the randomness of the Madonna/Heroes storyline. Ben ran up to me with a wide, glowing smile on his face. He was so excited. He lifted a small journal into my view: the journal had a soft, suede leather cover, and it was about the same size as his hands. He opened the journal and said "look!" then he flipped through the pages. When looking straight down at the pages from above, each of them had a deep cut-out in the various shapes, each containing a badge of some sort.  The cut-out look of the pages resembled the "flask in a book" idea, except instead of masking a desire to drink with a desire to be "holy", the badges on each page were real badges that Ben had achieved through his personal and spiritual growth. The badges acted as mile-markers for his growth. The journal is like the journal of his soul and spirit. When viewing the pages from the side, they appear to have the same weight, thinness, and bendability/turnability as an average 20lb page that you would find in any book. I didn't really see what any of the badges where or even really what they looked like as he flipped excitedly through the journal to one of the final pages—he was flipping through the pages way too quickly in excitement. We got to the last filled page in seconds. On this page there was displayed a badge that Ben had very recently earned. I don't know if I actually saw what the badge looked like, because I really can't remember it, but I knew exactly what it meant. This badge marked Ben's ability to effectively lead his family. Then he said "Look! There are only two pages left!" Sure enough, only the last two pages were left unfilled. Somehow, I saw the next page, and on it there was an a deep cut-out in the shape of an open book. My strong sense about this dream is that it is an encouraging peek into Ben's spirit as it is growing and has grown. When he showed me the badge he had just earned for learning how to effectively lead his family, I realized that it's true! He has learned how to lead his family. He's totally ready to lead. I also knew that he was going to promptly begin the next stage of his growth, which is open-book shaped…I wonder what that shape means. Another very large portion of understanding that I had during the dream was what the end of this journal means: when Ben's growth places the last two badges in the last two pages, then he will be ready to be a father. In this dream, he also knew that that was what the end of the journal meant, and this knowledge was part of his excitement. He was telling me that he's not ready for kids right now, but he will be soon, and he was so excited for that. I'm not saying that the end of this season of Ben's growth means that we're going to immediately start popping out babies. I'm just saying that he'll be ready. That's all. Having kids hasn't been weighing on my mind or heart lately, but the desire is, of course, always there, no matter how buried it may be in my subconscious. I feel very encouraged by this dream. I felt peace fall into place somewhere in my spirit when the dream ended—the peace clicked into place while I was still sleeping. I understand that he's not ready right now, but that he will be, and that just because he's not ready now doesn't mean that he doesn't also look forward to the day when we start having kids with just as much excitement and heart as I do. Yes, Ben. You have grown a lot, especially in the last year. I love the way that you've grown. My trust and respect for you has grown a lot as well, and my love for you has deepened and settled; like the roots of a young tree finally strong enough to establish a permanent home. | 
